I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize