Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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