She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
