i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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