who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize