you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize