yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
