just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize