so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
