so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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