Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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