oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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