I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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