I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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