if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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