Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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