Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
