this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
