when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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