you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
