i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
