what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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