Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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