I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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