Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
