shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
