His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
