did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
