this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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