Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
