just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize