he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
