i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
