Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish I only lived at night.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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