Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize