bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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