The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you will always have a special place in my vag
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
