i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
