Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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