I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize