Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize