I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
