So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
