i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
