he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
