This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
