she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
