when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm at about main and main street
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
