I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize