So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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