sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you had me at cake vodka
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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