His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
