9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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