I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
