No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
