you guys were way drunker than both of me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
