Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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