and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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