Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
