My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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