We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
