I accidentally had phone sex last night
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
