The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
