He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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