apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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