and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
