They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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