just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
