I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
