Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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