I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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