Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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