Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
