Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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