New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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