I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
