Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
