dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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